I see you standing there, wishing you had time to do the things of dreams and nonsense, but you are a mother first and a creative second. A dreamer on a mission, a mission to find the balance between being a parent and finding the thing that defines you.
I feel your frustration, you want to create but today, I your muse, has abandoned you.
With a heavy heart you sit slumped on the beach, watching your son stick his head in the sand like an ostrich, he giggles, I know you want him to be happy, but happiness is different for him.
“Why don’t you go in the water?” You ask, I wonder are you thinking about your writing or editing your story. I know you are frustrated even though it is hidden behind your half-smile.
“I don’t want to.” Says the boy.
I know of your guilt, as you try to connect with your son, he is growing so fast and now the apron strings are cut and he is turning to his father for a dose of male bonding and adventure. This is a beautiful thing and the way it should be and yet you mourn the loss of the infant child who needed you so.
“Want to play a game?” He asks.
“Maybe later.” You reply and he buries his head again.
I see you.
I see your tears of sorrow when the world does not try to understand your son and his differences, a multitude of labels bundled together, a complex web of issues with no quick fixes.
I feel your anger.
I want to remind you that you are human, flesh and bone. You have weak moments but your strength comes from a river within of eternal optimism, even though you are often hollow, I know you will never give up.
I see you shine.
I see your tears of joy, when things go well and a triumph which might seem so small to most, you celebrate in your private world.
I see you surrender to the day.
“What game do you want to play?” You ask.
“Bet you can’t catch me?”
You run, jump and laugh in the sand with your child, I hear the golden ripples of laughter and happiness. A single moment of joy, your gift on this day.
I return and sit beside you, I have tormented you enough, together you and your creative self smile at the glistening ocean, the breeze is soft and playful, the air salty and the mood optimistic once more.
In one long breath out, I see a splash of renewal spread across your tired exhausted face.
Life is one big journey of ups and downs, you look towards 2014 with hope and love, that is all you have.
You hope your children will grow, learn and laugh lots. You hope you can find that inner strength to be both loving mother and a the creative soul that burns from within.
Learn, live, thrive and survive.
A new moon awaits
I see you in many people, walking the path of the caring, nurturing parent, no matter what comes your way.
I want to thank all those inspiring people who visit me and my muse under the golden haze of a summer sky and wish you all a very prosperous and especially bright 2014