Drop your basket of washing, turn your television off, yes thats right OFF. Take the phone off the hook, or out of your pocket and allow yourself to indulge in your passion. No chocolate is a habit a deliciously good habit but not a passion although, I allow it on late nights to fuel the energy I may need to get my creative junk whirling again.
We all need an outlet, that certain something we do that makes us feel giddy with accomplishment. When you have a child with extra needs due to having autism, like we do, your own needs fall by the way side. That is another story and a long journey of patience and understanding two things I have learnt thus far with many more to go.
Did you look back on your year? What did you find? Like me you have probably given your very best to your family, your career or your dog. Yet, I neglected my inner most yearnings and realized that one bad decision cost me dearly. Time, my friend, many people understand it, most waste it and some even laugh at it, believing it will never be fast enough to catch them.
I know if I am unable to release that pure creative energy, a tension builds inside me. It grows small at first and then finally it is too big to carry, the size of a bowling ball I try to contain it but to no avail; when it bursts free it takes out every living thing around me. The half mother someone who does everything for everyone else and forgets about her own desires, wants and needs. She thinks at the time this is how it is meant to be, time passes and the lucky ones stop, look around and turn back, taking the same path and following it home until they find themselves again.
You see a happy balanced parent, makes for a happy, maybe not balanced but happy grounded child. When I allow myself time for me and my imaginings everybody gains. My sense of self is alive through my passion for my interest and life itself, and this in turn flows out to my loved ones.
Often I ask other mother’s what do they have or do that is special to them only. I am amazed most of them say.
“Oh I don’t know, I don’t have time for such things.” I’m here to tell you such things can help us get through our darkest hours, such things shape our very lives and if I did not have such things as writing or painting my whole purpose in life would have been lost, flattened by a ten ton semitrailer of disappointments and frustrations, or that is what it feels like at the time.
Why do we allow it to happen? Life just takes hold, we get caught up in the spin, forgetting to take the time to nourish our own souls and all the beauty we have inside.
Take the time to find out what it is you truly love doing and then run with it. I am still running, running through long grass, dancing in the rain and yes still jumping in mud puddles. I run, dance and jump anything that can help me to keep my playful side alive. Who I am and what I want to be is forever changing, share your passion with me maybe we are running in the same direction and someday we may fly.