On a cold wretched day when every body else hovered near a warm fire or a gas heater. I found myself sitting on a wonky wooden set of stairs which led down to the rocks scattered at the edge of a pounding ocean. Looking out at the rough sea, the wind howling as it whipped at the back of my neck. My toes felt like slabs of stone filling the tips of my boots. My fingers ached, numbed by the chill as I shoved them deeper into my pockets. With eyes watering and a runny nose, due to a head cold, I sat there and waited.
Why was I out on such a day you might question? Minutes before I was sitting by a warm heater and sipping on a hot chocolate forever thankful for those small pleasures. I noticed a rainbow far out on the distant sea. As I watched in awe my son started to get a little restless, I decided to take him for a run on the beach, with the hope I could capture the rainbow on my camera, whilst he let of some steam.
You could say as the chill factor settled in my tired old bones, I was did not enjoy the great outdoors on this particular day. By the time we reached the beach the rainbow had disappeared. My son on the other hand, made the most of it, having a wonderful time, climbing rocks and finding stones to smash on the boulders. The wind picked up and I shrunk down inside my coats, yes coats I had two coats and three layers of clothing.
Even though this was not my idea of a relaxing Saturday afternoon it was something my son needed, his release. A good run and some sensory play to use up the overload of energy he never seems to run out of, even after walking an eight kilometre walk-a-thon for school. He is often reminded to sit still, when his hyperactive body bounces from one piece of my mum’s furniture to another. Even though we understand he can’t help it we still have to remind him that this is not the place to jump.
As I sat there watching him bob up and down in between the boulders I noticed a slight wash of colour in the dark skies a quarter of a rainbow. It was magnificent yet to capture in on film just did not do it justice. I gave up trying and just enjoyed the moment.
I thought about my son under the broken rainbow, what it felt like to have a body that was in a perpetual motion. My child, on the spectrum, often riddled with anxiety and constant thought, it did not seem fair that his body and brain behaved the way it did. As I shivered and smiled at him, a warm feeling swelled through my heart, and seeped into every cold part of my chest, the love I have for my kids knows no boundaries. He smiled at me and waved back, a tear in my eye for his struggles. He handles them as any child does, sometimes with fear, sometimes with anger but mostly just saying I can’t help that, it’s who I am.
A few drops of rain and I saw my escape.
“Honey I think its time we went back to Nan’s, it’s going to rain.” He came running and so did the down pour, it pelted giant raindrops at my face, we giggled and fled for the car, by the time we reached the doors and climbed inside, drenched through and laughing uncontrollably. Not to mention I was puffing due to my level of fitness. On the way home my son said this.
“I think god was having a little fun with us today mum, watching us get wet.” I laughed out loud and so did he. Kids say the funniest things. To life I say we laugh in the face of our challenges, cry when we need to, but mostly hold our heads high as a family unit we are strong and loving. I know my son has challenges, as do all children, but with our support he can overcome many things. I salute the broken rainbow and give thanks that it is better than no rainbow at all, just like him, I can’t imagine my life without him or my beautiful daughter.
With the night-time upon us we snuggled in our pj’s by the warm heater while my boy tells his sister and Nan about how God had played a joke on us. Me with a glass of wine, the children with their hot chocolates, I took to the kitchen making pizza dough. A yummy kid friendly meal and we finished off with Nana’s specialty, her rich chocolate pudding and warm custard. It is amazing how a little comfort food can put a smile on your dial after a cold day. I sat watching the full moon rise over a pink clouded sky, I felt comforted by the thought my life has many challenges and on the hard days I remember the rainbow of love, gods gift to me on this day.
What challenges do you face when all you have is love to get you through? Please share them with this tired mum, I appreciate your comments and support.