Hear me Roar

lioness (copy)

I wait and watch, prowling my terrain, when I roar my subjects quake in their boots . I see my enemy and pounce, there are no guilt stricken thoughts only submission, my captive listens in fear of the ferocious female and her powerful words.

I will be honest my weakest trait is that I am no more a wild beast than the domestic kitty chasing a leaf on my deck, this hot windy day.

I was born one of the middle children in a family of nine. Two brothers and six sisters. For me this was quite normal, folks out at San Isidore had ten, eleven or even fifteen kids in their families. It wasn’t until I got to high school I realized our neighborhood was top-heavy with blessed children.

I also learned in high school that I was a passive shy person. I did not like to stir the pot or make enemies. I remember wishing I could be more ferocious.  A wild cat, one my class mates would respect and maybe even fear. It never happened.

Recently I caught up with my old school friends, after twenty odd years of little or no connections. The amusing thing is no one had changed that drastically. Sure, we had extra wrinkles and maybe some added wisdom. Yet I could see the girl sparkle in each face and if I closed my eyes and listened to them laughing and making jokes I was fifteen again. The photo’s came out and there I sat at the local Chinese restaurant wearing a powder blue dress, shell earrings with matching necklace and a half-smile. That shy girl has come a long way, but I doubt she will ever learn to roar.

Yesterday I had two incidents in a row on the phone where people who were supplying a service, were rude for no reason, other than boredom of their monotonous jobs. I got off the phone angry, yet had not shown my ill-will whilst speaking to them.

Sometimes I envy those who can speak their minds no matter the cost. I look over that fence and dream of being on the other side. Braver and stronger somehow. I have noticed over the years when people know you are an easy-going soul you tend to receive opinions without asking for them. You find yourself sitting on the fence while others fight for their cause. I accepted who I am, a long time ago. I could not belittle or shout down the phone at these people, it just isn’t me.

Love your enemies, set them free…….

I will be fifty in October I think it is safe to say I will never change. When I look at my mother she is the same. She is also graceful and sweet, she admits the shyness came from her. I look down the line and my daughter is this way too. I found a short piece in her baby diary written in my father’s firm hand.

You are a gentle soul here to care for the ones in need of gentleness.

She has an amazing gift of patience and caring for others in need. She is more than okay with who she is and does not feel the need to be anything else.

Over the years I have come to terms with who I am, the daydreaming story weaver. I am a sensitive creature who notices the suffering of others. I’m a shoulder to cry on or a person who can laugh  about life. I can speak my peace through the written word, yet I am happy being silent. I have no mind for arguments…..thats me.

How about you?

Tell me if you have a trait that you wish you could change? I would love to know more about you.

About Minuscule Moments

Everybody has a DREAM. Today is the first day of the rest of my writing life. Its a lonely world out there when you are learning the craft. This year, as the same as last year, I want to finish my first children's picture book. I have learn't many wonderful lessons on this journey. You are never too old to learn.
This entry was posted in Inspiration, N is for NEVER give up., Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

33 Responses to Hear me Roar

  1. Letizia says:

    It sounds like you have the quiet strength of the lioness even if you don’t have the lion’s roar, and that is quite beautiful indeed.

    I’m happy and outgoing when out and about but I can be such a hermit at times, craving my alone time like a turtle in her shell. This used to bother me as well, but now I’ve accepted it and have surrounded myself with loved ones who accept it as well. Or who are happy to sit in the shell with me at times, haha.

    Lovely post, elegantly written.

    • Letizia thank you, I would enjoy having a shell also, especially on those tough days. I love my own company and never run out of things I could be doing on my own. Thanks for the sweet comments.

  2. Kaye says:

    “Over the years I have come to terms with who I am…” What a wondrous thing to be able to say. I think I’ve come to terms with much of who I am, but still struggle with other areas – or at least on occasion. Probably the thing I most wish is that I were more productive – and I suppose that has to do with at least two characteristics. I wish I were better at follow-through and finishing things and I wish I had more physical energy.

    But yes, mostly I like who I am.

  3. JoanJ says:

    I also see a quiet strength. I was very bashful when growing up (most people wouldn’t realize it now) but I’m still somewhat an introvert. I do enjoy being around people, but am also content being home. Guess you can also call me a daydreaming storyweaver.

  4. Audrey Chin says:

    We are who we are. You’re gentleness is a strength. Who knows how much ill-will you’ve avoided by holding your breath? Just so long as you’re okay with who you are, that’s perfect enough Kath.

    As for me. I do wish I wouldn’t blurt out everything I see, especially when it isn’t nice!

  5. I am not one to speak my mind in most situations. I don’t like fighting with people, especially not to prove a point. And I don’t like to make people feel bad or low. So I get taken advantage of sometimes. Kath, would it bless you to know that your kindness and generosity encourage and comfort so many people, including me? People who may never have the chance to meet you, but who are blessed by you nonetheless. And more than anything, that is who you are.

    • Kathleen it does bless me to know there are people like you in the world. Even though we may never meet I know I have a good friend for life in you and that makes me smile. You say the sweetest things dear lady.

  6. You’re a lioness who cares for and protects her children. No roar required. I am very much Taurus the stubborn and determined bull, but like you I’m also the fierce lioness in my own understated way.

  7. 9 silbings! Wow. Your parents sure did their part to bring up the average Australian family size. America is about 2.2. Japan is 1.7ish. For most nations, the number is well below 9.

    I’m with you–shy, quiet, don’t vent much in public. Tolerant of those who do–maybe too tolerant. I’m working on changing that.

    • We were not the norm and I remember the stares we would get driving through the cities with a car load of kids Jacqui. I guess as I age I might become a little more confident in standing up for myself. I think tolerance is a wonderful trait to have.

  8. And I on the other hand wish I was less verbal at times. Sometimes I like that I can speak my mind. I cannot do the angry thing well. I kind of stuff it in and then I weep it out. But that’s cuz it wasn’t safe to be angry at our house. I think you are a genuinely sweet person. But in areas where we want to change, I believe it is possible. I once heard a woman in her late 80’s and she said after hearing me speak, “You’ve changed my mind.” That showed me it’s possible to change, albeit difficult to unlearn things.

  9. diannegray says:

    I am a lot like you and am seen as a very gentle person. The problem with this is that I tend to harbour feelings and they build up (it’s a slow process, but they certainly build). I’ve probably lost my temper about four times in my life and that when people see the lion. It’s not nice at all. Hubby on the other hand speaks his mind immediately and in this sense his anger never festers. I wish I could be like that 😉

  10. The so-called shy, passive ones generally appear that way because they watch and listen carefully to everything around them. And, yes, after 50 years of doing that I imagine you are most firmly you…and that’s good 🙂

  11. Mary says:

    Seems like you have a true meekness about you, which is power under control. And that is a beautiful virtue. Me? I’m afraid I tend to roar a bit too quickly. Thank God, I have a wonderful and wise husband who knows how to reassure me and make me purr 😉 I wrote about this topic one day while pondering similar thoughts. http://maryaperez.com/2013/10/17/this-thing-called-tears/

  12. Kath, this post has given me wonderful insight into your personality. I already knew you were a gracious, gentle being, but now, I feel closer to you than ever. Is it okay for me to say I love you?

  13. Sheila says:

    It feels like you’re whispering in my ear with this post and that’s much better than roaring. 🙂 I usually wish I could be more wild too. Maybe as we get older, we’ll start letting it all hang out more often.

    • Sheila not so sure….I think as I age I have become even calmer about rude people. I just don’t take their negative gear on board anymore…push it to the winds and continue to enjoy my day. Loved your last post it lifted me up this morning thanks for sharing it.

  14. Hi there Kath, you are a lioness, you know. Fiercely protective of her family. Soft and caring and I bet you can be ferocious when you want too.
    Me…I’m the one that rush in where angels fear to tread. I never kept my own counsel. And that is not always a good idea. With age came some ‘maturity’ and the past year, since I began blogging I learned to rather observe, to not always argue and stand on my rights. Life is much calmer now and I’m happier.
    Someone once said I’m a difficult woman. I learned to temper that woman a little. I cannot stand rudeness and always try to be friendly. We all want to be treated with respect.
    Take care, my friend with the gentle soul.
    Pxx

    • I love you just the way you are…you are a tiger with hot pink stripes and I love your vibrant colours and warm heart and the way you face up to life. Don’t ever change. So glad we met xxxx.

  15. Desi Clown says:

    Oh my God! Its like you’ve written this post for ME!… I also find myself wishing I was more like the outspoken ones. I’m a Scorpio! I have to be tough, right! Those people seem to know what they want, and can effortlessly assert that. Me on the other hand, I can’t even stand for my own defense, let alone stand up for anyone else. I’d rather walk away when I smell a confrontation, even if I risk being proved wrong in the process. My mom gets worried, and tells me the world’s gonna sell me for peanuts if I don’t change myself. Who’s gonna tell her its not an on-off switch inside my head? Hope I can accept this trait of myself like how you’ve managed to accept yourself… and by the way, you definitely seem to have everything under control, lioness or not.

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